By: Abby Anerella ❤️
(Just like how Thomas is balancing the Leaning Tower)
I figured this was a pretty fitting blog to write today considering I completely forgot I was supposed to work because I was busy taking an at home class quiz and doing my math homework.
School, work, and your social life. The three things that encompass all of your time at the ripe age of 19.
How is the average 19 year old supposed to balance all of this, let alone a 19 year old with a mental health disorder and therapy every week?
Good question.
My biggest struggle when I was away at college (I attend my local community college now), was that I lacked a lot of motivation to do things because of the messiness that was going on inside my brain. I was taking 5 hour naps everyday, I was skipping class, and I was half doing my homework because I would sit there trying to solve my OCD for hours at a time. Nothing else seemed that important to me in those moments. And before I knew it, it was time for bed. This cycle repeated everyday.
A common misconception is that once you fix your mental health, all other parts of your life will fall into place perfectly. The truth is, you can’t fix your mental health in its entirety unless you focus on yourself in your entirety. This includes school, work, and your social life.
School always seems like it’s the biggest battle people face when they are personally struggling. Something that helped me a lot was to start seeing my school work as a healthy escape rather than a dreadful activity. Starting your work is always the hardest, but I’ve found that once you set aside time to start your work, it’s easier to want to continue to work on it.
It’s good to have a system of things that are ranked highest on your priority list. For me, my highest priority has always been school (That’s a lie. My highest priority has always been therapy. I’d totally miss a test to have a session with my therapist). But after that? Definitely school.
I’m very organized when it comes to time management. If I know I have a lot on my plate that I’m going to be balancing the next few days, I always make a daily agenda of the things I want to accomplish that day.
Your schedule seems extremely all encompassing until you take the time to spread it out over a few days and realize time works with you, not against you.
This is a schedule I made for school when I was at the University of Pittsburgh…
I made one of these almost everyday, or at least the days I knew I was going to be extremely busy. It may not look like a lot on the surface, but visually seeing how you are able to space your time out allows for the stress to lift off your shoulders when you realize you aren’t as jam packed as you once thought you were.
I usually place my school work highest on my time management list because it’s highest on my priority list. And quite honestly, as soon as I’ve completed the work I need to do for the day, the rest of the stuff kind of just falls into place.
Creating these schedules instilled more motivation within me as well. It’s important to do at least one thing every day that you can look forward to. Even if it’s really small. I always follow my school work with something rewarding. Have you ever heard of someone bribing themselves? Now you have. Whether it was going to a food place I liked, taking time to watch my favorite tv show, or facetime a loved one, these things always motivated me to complete the list I made in its entirety.
My social life and work are kind of on the same scale if I’m being honest. This will definitely change once I start a job related to my major, but for now I am working at a liquor store and a restaurant. When you are a full time college student, school is your main job. So having a part time job has never been close to being on the top of my priority list.
A lot of people ask me why I work two jobs. Isn’t it stressful? Don’t you wish your weekends were entirely free? Does it intervene with your free time a lot?
Yes, yes, and yes.
Work is very rewarding to me. I spoke before about how I started to look at school as a healthy distraction instead of a dreadful activity. I feel the exact same way about work. Work also provides you with something I like to call “good stress”. Someone is yelling at me because I forgot to close out a check? I gave them the wrong beer? There’s no ketchup? These problems are almost comical when you place them next to Miss OCD. I will have a middle aged woman argue with me any day about how the price of beer went up as opposed to having built up anxiety over my OCD. It’s situations like these that make you realize everyone is just trying to get by, and that not all problems are ones worth negatively stressing over. Good stress. You work, you probably will make a mistake, you get paid, you go home.
School and work allow you to be naturally mindful. Being present is the best thing for your anxiety, and both of these activities allow you to be present with little to no effort.
Your social life is a big part of staying mentally healthy. Spending time with the people that you love is sooooo good for you. You love them for a reason! They love you for a reason! Spending time with those who love you, and who you love, will help you fall more in love with yourself, and that’s all you can really ask for.
Despite me sounding like I have it all figured out. I went into work today thinking I was going to get fired. I was so focused on doing my school work I completely forgot I said I could cover a shift today and I showed up an hour late to work (I didn’t get fired BTW… go me). I’m still figuring things out as I go. I’m trying to find a good balance between work, school, and my social life so that I don’t take on more things than I can handle. Good stress is good, until it turns into bad stress, then it’s bad. You’ll know when you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, and if it does happen, THAT’S OKAY. There’s always a way in which things will get better.
And just remember it could always be worse. You could be a middle aged woman whose waitress forgot to give her ketchup.
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